I think it’s time to revisit again the search terms that bring people stumbling, bleary-eyed, fevered and shivering, onto this site.
We did this a couple of months ago, and the results said a lot about the Internet. Most of what it said was disturbing.
Again, I don’t know why you’re here, I don’t know what you’re hoping to learn, and I hope you’re not expecting this site to make your life better, richer or more rewarding. I also hope that you won’t attempt the things we’ve discussed on this blog. It’s scary. Don’t do it.
So, without further adieu, we present our top search terms from the past 30 days.
Jekyll Island surges to No. 1 on our list, probably because of this post I wrote memorializing the fantastic Oceanside Inn and Suites which is now well behind schedule in its conversion to a Holiday Inn Resort. People planning their fall escape bumped perennial traffic draw “burt reynolds bear skin rug” from the top. Surprisingly, it looks like a fair number of people are still figuring out how to use the Internet, since they’re actually typing our URL into the Google search term (this tells me that either A) we should focus on deploying an AOL Keyword; or B) people don’t want our site to actually appear in their browser’s search history). I don’t know what the hell ” ‘smoked my pipe’ picnic” means, but the term below that is fascinating. (For the record, we burned down exactly zero houses with bottle rockets in Long Beach, Calif.)
“Guy on bear rug” and “burt reynolds bear rug” round out the bear-loving visitors who found us, while a few are interested in cedar waxwings. Former GDOT commissioner Vance Smith continues to Google himself, and somehow at least one person got here from the World Wide Web while looking for “uncle rick incest.” So, thanks for bumping us up on the government watch lists for that one, whomever you were.
Ah, Internet. You’re a dark and frightening friend.