Infernal Internal Encouragement for the Treadmill

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I’m trying to do better.

I don’t expect to ever sport six-pack abs, but my weight of late had gotten out of hand. Clothes stopped fitting, I was tired all the time. I don’t know why I let it get that way. I know I let myself go late last year, after my mother died. I figure, food makes me happy, so I might as well enjoy food.

Treadmill

Phew!

Now, losing weight makes me happy. Seeing the scales drop a few pounds every week, feeling myself shrink inside my clothes, and having more energy has been fantastic.

One way I’ve been losing weight has been to hit the treadmill most every morning. I aim for five days a week, usually manage to get in four. I do about 3.5 miles or more, depending on how much time I have, and I go at a pretty good trot. I use my iPod and headphones to keep from going crazy (crazier). And I have a running dialogue, every morning.

.25 – “Have I hit a mile yet?”
.50 – “OK, that feels like it’s been a mile. … What?”
.55 – “This fucking thing’s broken.”
1.20 – “I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it even two miles this morning.”
1.30 – “I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it even two miles this morning.”
1.35 – “I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it even … Christ, this is taking forever.”
1.40 – “Jesus, why are they playing that Seether song again?”
1.41 – “‘Well, I can’t stand to be with myself; this liberation’s seemingly rare…’”
1.5 – “Have I hit two miles yet?”
1.51 – “Jesus. Really?”
2.00 – “Living’s overrated. I just want to eat pancakes every morning. And parfait. Mmm, God, when’s the last time I had a parfait? With those sweet berries in it? Those can’t be too unhealthy.”
2.10 – “OK, almost at 2.5. That’s my goal. 2.5. I got this.”
2.25 – “That’s not 2.5 yet? This fucking thing’s broken.”
2.60 – “Have I hit 2.5 yet?”
2.65 – “Christ, I love Arctic Monkeys.”
2.77 – “Man, I’m breezing past my goal. Everything from here on out is just gravy.”
2.80 – “I’m about to hit three miles, easy. I’m going to go for 3.5. I got this.”
2.95 – “Have I hit 3.5 yet?”
3.10 – “OK, closing in on 3.5. Next time I look down at the screen, it’ll be 3.5.”
3.25 – “Fuck.”
3.40 – “This isn’t so bad, really. I’m sweating a lot, but it’s a good sweat. I’m feeling good. Used to be, I couldn’t do this. But I’m feeling good now.”
3.43 – “…Might slow it down a bit, though…”
3.57 – “Damn. Almost to 3.6. Might as well keep going. Feeling pretty good.”
3.70 – “OK, I think I’m going to make it to four miles!”
3.80 – “Shit. I’m late to hit the shower. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.”
3.83 – “Close enough. We’ll call that four miles.”

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